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There was this guy sitting on a park bench muttering to himself and spitting. He would mutter, then spit, mutter, then spit. He would say, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive," then spit. "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive," then spit, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive," then spit.
A man sat down next to him and asked him, "What's going on here? You keep saying, 'Damn that sonofabitch can drive, then you spit.'"
"Well," said the guy, "my friend just got a brand new sports car, so he called me and asked if I want to go for a ride. So I say sure, why not?"
"He picked me up and we drove up to the mountains. After we have lunch, we start back down the mountain and his brakes went out!! He's pumping the pedal, and nothing!!"
"So now we're picking up speed and the road is twisty and curvy. We're going faster and faster and it's hard to stay on the road. I've got my fingers embedded in the dashboard, and I'm pleading with him to do something!!"
"We're going about 90 mph now, with a sheer cliff on our right, a 500 foot drop on the other side, an 18 wheeler right on our ass, and an overturned motor home right in front of us."
"Well, I figure this is it!! I just knew we're gonna die!! So I turn to him and said... 'Buddy, if you can get us outta this, I'll give you the best damn blow job you've ever had!!'"
"DAMN, THAT SONOFABITCH CAN DRIVE!!" ..... (SPIT)
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