Horoscope
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| CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan
19)-You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chicken shit. There has never been a
Capricorn of any importance. |
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| AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb
18)-You have an inventive mind and are inclined to progressiveness. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. |
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| PISCES (Feb 19-Mar
20)-You have a vivid imagination and often think that you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence over your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. |
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| ARIES (Mar 21-Apr
19)-You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. |
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| TAURUS (Apr 20-May
20)-You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. |
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| GEMINI (May 21-Jun
21)-You are a quick, intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. |
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| CANCER (Jun 22-Jul
22)-You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. |
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| LEO (Jul 23-Aug
22)-You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leo's are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. |
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| VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep
22)-You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while screwing. |
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| LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct
23)-You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a male, you are probably a queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are excellent because most Libra women are whores. |
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| SCORPIO (Oct 24-Nov
21)-You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the
pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. |
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| SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec
21)-You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a
reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks and potheads.
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