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Declaring diabetes mellitus non-existent, managed care companies nation-wide
have managed to wipe out diabetes throughout the United States, it was
announced today. It was explained that any patient insisting that they have
diabetes will be re-diagnosed as having paranoia, and hence will be
ineligible for medical care, as mental health benefits are essentially
nonexistent in most managed care plans. The insurance industry also
announced that their pre-existing policy of refusing to reimburse for
syringes or blood glucose test strips, and discouraging patients' Primary
Care Physicians from referring to endocrinologists, has been "totally
vindicated."
According to an anonymous spokesman for a major managed care company, it is
expected that curing diabetes, and terminating contracts with deceased
endocrinologists, will allow approximately 57 more insurance company
executives to claim 6-figure bonuses at the end of the current Fiscal Year,
while only resulting in an additional 15 minutes loss of sleep per night for
the average Primary Care Physician, and only an estimated 2,000,000 covered
lives to become uncovered deaths.
You may feel free to forward or reproduce this satire, provided you include
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Care Center, Inc.Medical Jokes Home |
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