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One morning the grade three teacher asked her students to relate a story in which they, at the conclusion, could relate a well known moral to the story. The teacher called on Sally. She related the story of her uncle's chicken farm. One day a hen had laid 12 eggs. Sally knew there would be 12 because she had counted them. However, only 8 had survived. "That's an interesting story, Sally," the teacher said. "Now, what is the moral?" "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." "Very good, Sally. Now, Ishmael, you tell a story."
Ishmael told the story of going to the market and putting all his eggs in one basket to take home to mother. On the way home, he dropped the basket and all the eggs perished. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket," he concluded. "Very good," said the teacher.
"Now Little Billy, your turn." Little Billy stood up. "Well," he began. "My dad was Vietnam in the summer of 1968. While on patrol in the jungle he got separated from his troop and found himself deep in enemy territory with only a handgun, two grenades, and a bottle of Jack Daniels to protect him. When he tried to make his way back to his unit, he was attacked by six well-trained Viet-Cong commandos. So brave was my dad that he took them all out with a single shot each. That left him with only the grenades and the whiskey. As he made his way
further into the jungle, he was set upon by a half dozen more V.C. Pulling the pin with his teeth, he let one grenade fly as the V.C. assumed an attack position. The explosion sent body parts flying everywhere! The second wave, not learning their lesson, came after him. Dad gave the same treatment the others got. All he had now was a bottle of Jack Daniels. He was almost near his troop when a another wave of V.C. set upon him. He drank the whole bottle with one drink, smashed the blunt end of the bottle against a tree and went after his attackers with wild abandon. He fought them all with only this broken bottle and his wits to defend him. And he won. He made his back to his troop and made his way back home." The teacher was mortified. "Uh, OK, but what lesson can be learned from all this?" "Don't fuck with the old man when he's drunk!"
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