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Humorous Quotes attributed to Barry Goldwater

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Barry Goldwater1909-1998, American Statesman, Senator, Republican Presidential Candidate:

* A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.

* I have long said that there are more leaks in Washington than in Anheuser-Busch's biggest men's room.

* I once paraphrased Mark Twain on the Senate floor - there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

* If everybody in this town connected with politics had to leave town because of chasing women and drinking, you would have no government.

* It was always my feeling, and still is, that a man's main message should be headlined - not the fact that he may have fallen off a horse at the county fair. Any damn fool can do that.

* It's a great country, where anybody can grow up to be president ... except me.

* I won't say that the papers misquote me, but I sometimes wonder where Christianity would be today if some of those reporters had been Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

* No lie is intelligent, but his (Richard Nixon's) were colossal stupidity because they involved the presidency of the United States.

* The business and sport of Washington is talking, night and day. The nation's capital is the Hoover Dam of leaks.

* The conscience of the House once became so pained that members actually passed a resolution saying, "Your Congress is not a crook."

* The Defense Department spends as much time on its annual budget as it does planning to defend the country.

* The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.

* The only summit meeting that can succeed is the one that does not take place.

* Those early instructors rarely taught students how to get out of a spin. One of them once said jokingly to me, "If you ever get into one let go of everything and start the Lord's Prayer."

* Westerners often admire a man more for standing tall than being right. That might not appear to be the most politic thing to say, but it's the truth.

* When I woke up this morning, I had one nerve left, and damned if you ain't got on it!

* You don't need to be 'straight' to fight for your country. You just need to shoot straight.

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