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A priest, an evangelical preacher,
and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan
University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week
for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all
that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to
another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into
the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had
various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said, "I went
into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to
him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and
began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him
and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is
coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend cLeetus spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both
legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory,
he claimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and
I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to READ to that bear from God's HOLY
WORD! But that bear wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I then took HOLD of him
and we BEGAN to wrestle. We wrestled DOWN one hill, UP another and DOWN
another until we CAME to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his
hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as GENTLE as a LAMB. We spent
the rest of the day PRAISING JESUS."
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in
a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with monitors and IVs
running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. Rabbi Weinstein
looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the
best way to start."Back
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