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Under same management for over
5765 years.
Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case.
What part of "Thou shalt not" don't you understand?
Shul committees should be made up of three members, two of whom should be
absent at every meeting.
Sign over the urinal in a bathroom at Hebrew University : " The future of
the Jewish people is in your hands."
My mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty. They sent
her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.
Any time a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white
bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
It was mealtime during a flight on ElAl. "Would you like dinner?," the
flight attendant asked Moshe, seated in front. "What are my choices?," Moshe
asked. "Yes or no," she replied.
An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and is brought to the local
hospital. A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, "Mr. Gevarter, are you
comfortable?" Gevarter replies, "I make a living...."
A rabbi was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of paper
from an envelope he found written on it only one word: "shmuck." At the next
Friday night service, the Rabbi announced, "I have known many people who
have written letters and forgot to sign their names, but this week I
received a letter from someone who signed his name.... and forgot to write a
letter.
Three Jewish women get together for lunch. As they are being seated in the
restaurant, one takes a deep breath and gives a long, slow "oy." The second
takes a deep breath as well and lets out a long, slow "oy." The third takes
a deep breath and says impatiently, "Girls, I thought we agreed that we
weren't going to talk about our children."
And one final favorite! : A waiter comes over to a table full of Jewish
women and asks, "Is anything all right?"
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