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Three old ornery grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old man walked by, and one of the old grandmas says, "We bet we can tell how old you are."
The old man said, "There ain't no way you can guess it."
One of the ornery grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your undershorts and we can tell your exact age."
He did. The grandmas stared at him for a while and then they all piped up and said, "You're 84 years old!"
The old man was stunned. "Amazing!" how did you guess that?"
The old grandmas, laughed. Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, all three happily yelled in unison, "You told us yesterday." |
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There is a family gathering, with all the generations
around the table. The teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's
drink. After awhile, Grandpa excuses himself because he has to go to the
bathroom. When he returns, however, his trousers are wet all over.
"What happened, Grandpa?" he is asked by his concerned children.
"Well," he answers, "I had to go to the bathroom. So I took it out, but
then I saw that it wasn't mine, so I put it back!" |
A couple had recently purchased the DVD from a movie that
they and their best friends, Tom and Carol, had really wanted to see in
the theater. Unfortunately, they had all missed it. So they invited the
friends over to watch it.
Since Tom's mother (92 years old) lived with them, and being a bit leery
of leaving her home alone, they brought her along. And so, after
exchanging greetings, they put the DVD in the player and settled back to
enjoy the movie.
It had been a long day/week for Tom, however, and they noticed that Tom
kept nodding off. As his head dropped lower, it finally startled him
awake.
He shook it off the first few times, but eventually turned to Carol and
told her wife it was time to leave, as his mother must be getting tired.
Grandma was indignant!
She rapped him on the head, playfully, and pointed out to him who was
REALLY tired.
Then she looked to their hosts and said, "My dears, next time you invite
me, I'll be sure to leave the children at home." |
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