Politics in Texas

2. "Lemme give ya' a hypothetic."

Texas Rep. Renal Rosson

3. "Ain't nothin' in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos."

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower

4. "And now, will y'all stand and be recognized?"

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis to a group of handicapped people in wheelchairs

5. "Dallas salutes a person who can buy a piece of art, but not a person who can create one."

A. C. Greene

6. "No thanks, once was enough."

Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked if he had been born again

7. "Oh good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant."

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower when told that Texas Governor Bill Clements had been studying Spanish

8. "I'd just make a little bit of money, I wouldn't make a whole lot."

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis defending himself against the charge that he would personally profit from a bill he had introduced.

9. "Well, there never was a Bible in the room."

Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked about repeatedly lying about the SMU football scandal.
 

10. "I am filled with humidity."

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
 

11. "If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on that man's head."

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing President George Bush's policies
 

12. "If it's dangerous to talk to yourself, it's probably even dicier to listen"

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower
 

13. "I move we recess to go outside and throw up."

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis during a budget hearing
 

14. "This is a real competitive business."

A gas station owner, when asked to explain the rapid rise in gasoline prices when Kuwait was invaded
 

15. "...idiots, imbeciles, aliens, the insane and women..."

Law standing in Texas until 1918 regulating who could not vote
 

16. "It's the sediment of the House that we adjourn."

Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton
 

17. "Let's do this in one foul sweep."

Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton
 

18. "This is unparalyzed in the state's history."

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
 

19. "I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session."

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
 

12. "We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger."

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
 

21. "There's a lot of uncertainty that's not clear in my mind."

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
 

22. "I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you."

Anon.

23. "There are still places where people think that the function of the media is to provide information."

Don Rottenberg