"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to."
"I was working smarter -- not harder."
"Whew! I musta left the top off the Liquid Paper. You probably got here just in time!"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people."
"I'm in the management training program."
"This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"
"Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem!"
"Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
"I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"
"The coffee machine is broken..."
" ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
Back to
Workplace Humor Home